I would like to share 2 stories from two of my female friends who recently became mothers.

If you prefer to watch the 14-minute video instead of reading this article, please click HERE, and please still read the last two paragraphs of this article.

One developed large fibroids during pregnancy.  She also became bedridden for the last 2 months of her pregnancy because of them.  She had to wait almost 1 year post her son being born to schedule surgery to finally remove the fibroids.  When she told other women close to her about the fibroids while she was pregnant, they commented, ‘oh yeah I had that,’ and it upsettingly surprised her because her viewpoint was, ‘why didn’t anyone tell me about this?’

Another friend had complications during delivery.  She had 4 epidurals fail on her, one part of her body got larger, her baby came out with blue lips indicating lack of oxygen had occurred at some point, she and her baby both coded at one point during the delivery, she was ignored during delivery when she expressed feeling like something wasn’t right, and she did not see her baby post delivery for the first 5-9 hours of his life.  She kept going to doctors post-delivery and finally found out through a neurologist that she had a cerebrospinal fluid leak.  This was probably only a portion of the story of what she has been through because she told me she sees about 9 doctors per week to deal with the lingering complications of pregnancy and delivery.  She also sees a therapist.  She is 14 months post childbirth still dealing with so much, yet her loved ones and friends are trying to prompt her to have another baby.

The lack of attentiveness and compassion by some medical teams during pregnancy and childbirth and that same lack by loved ones and friends that keeps from them from enhancing the awareness of prospective child conceivers and that prompts them to ask about having another baby when someone is struggling is unsettling and needs improvement.

We live in a society that prefers to use a ‘glass half full’ / ‘don’t tell much of what could happen to avoid scaring people’ approach to motherhood and that is not always a wise idea.  The public and the medical system need to be more forthcoming about the realities of pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum to those who are even thinking about becoming pregnant all the way to those who delivered a child within the past couple years.

The struggles many women experience or have experienced in these areas should be discussed openly.  Women struggling in these areas need to know that they are likely far from crazy.  What is crazy is for anyone to act like there is nothing to be concerned about, to ignore someone when they are telling you something is wrong, and to try to convince anyone to have another child when they are still obviously struggling.

Sometimes prospective clients call me asking for my help to get them pregnant in 3 to 6 months.  Although I currently refer them to other Naturopathic doctors for this, my stance is that you need to devote 9-12 months to getting your body and mind in top condition to conceive a child.  This is especially true if you already have health conditions, and especially if they are not well managed.  The term I am referring to here is ‘preconception care.’

To find an ND who does preconception care, do a web search for ‘Naturopathic doctor’ and one or all the following terms: preconception care, fertility, reproductive health, women’s health.  Alternatively, you can go to naturopathic.org, click on the ‘find a doctor’ tool towards the top of the home screen, and use some of these terms when selecting ‘specialty’ to find a doctor who can help you.  Then call the doctor offices and ask them if they help with preconception care.  Also, consider hiring a lactation consultant and patient advocate for your childbirth.


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